Dear Tranny: Hooker In Training

Advice is a drag, unless you’re seeking guidance from Culturcosm’s campy counselor. Looking for insider know-how on making the best of the Bay? Dear Tranny has just what you need and she always gives it up. Penned by Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n't.deartranny_masthead
Vol. 5: Hooker In Training

qDear Tranny,

I’ve recently been invited to a costume party and have decided to go as a domestic entrepreneur aka hooker. Do you know where I can find a decent outfit and shoes to complete my ensemble?

Hooker In Training (H.I.T.)

aDear H.I.T.,

This is an assignment right up Tranny’s alley. Not that I work there anymore, but I got that look down pat. After all, they don’t call me the Rice Cooker Hooker for nuttin’.

For the gal with more dates than time, the Foxy Lady Boutique in the Mission is an ideal one-stop shop. In addition to their magnum selection of erotic and fetish wear, they’ve got shoes for every kind of working girl. I even got my first pair of hooker heels from Foxy Lady. Don’t be afraid to make a statement. Nothing screams hooker to me more than good ole Lucite.

Another favorite of mine that always delivers the big payoff— New York Apparel in the Haight. This is the place to get your hose cheap. Hosiery, that is, lest you thought I was talking ‘bout the other kind.

If you’re still a little bashful about your newfound passion, you may prefer to shop online. Both Electrique Boutique and Trashy Lingerie carry either the same or similar items found in our neighborhood treasure troves. Just keep in mind, shipping and handling your package will cost extra.

Now, go shop that heart of gold to your inner hooker’s content. Unleash that Pretty Woman! But if you happen to run into Richard Gere, send him my way.

And remember, Tranny knows best.

xoxo
Sandra

Have a question about Bay-area life that’s fit for a queen? Email Sandra at deartranny@culturcosm.com.

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Just Maybe, We’re Gonna Make It

While some people are finding the president-elect’s stimulus plans less than stimulating, I’m feeling pretty slick and happy myself. My past week’s vacation of sand, sun, and sensational food with a heavy side of wine notwithstanding, I simply can’t argue with Obama’s line of thinking: If we want to revive our standing, economically and globally speaking, we have to start making things again. And by making things,
my friends, the man does not mean a fuss.

Granted, one SF-based designer is making things that make me very much ado,
but only in the most adoring sense. Enter Liz Saintsing and her Vintage Untamed collection, which consists of vintage handbags and accessories that she rescues
and revives by hand. What’s more, each colorful piece features quirky yet lovely one-of-a-kind silk-screen prints inspired by Bay Area nature.

peacock-bagcrow-bag

Not only is Ms. Liz upcycling discarded trash into coveted treasures, she’s keeping the environment free of nasty chemicals like, y’know, cyanide, which we felt like taking during the Bush Administration but now, with Obama on deck and bags, gloves, etc., like these at our service, there’s plenty more having and living to be had.

belt

Liz Saintsing’s Vintage Untamed collection can be desired online and acquired at Candy Store, 3153 16th St., and Queen of the Meadow, 351 Divisadero,
in San Francisco.

— Kay

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