Dear Tranny: Well-Heeled Society

Posted on June 8, 2009 
Filed Under Dear Tranny

Advice is a drag, unless you’re seeking guidance from Culturcosm’s campy counselor. Looking for insider know-how on making the best of the Bay? Dear Tranny has just what you need and she always gives it up. Penned by Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n't.deartranny_masthead
Vol. 9: Well-Heeled Society

qDear Tranny,

I’m so envious. I see fab trannies that can spin on a dime and run in high heels. I’m a biological woman and I can’t! Do you have any tips for me?

Hoping for Higher Heels

aDear Hoping,

Contrary to tranny urban legend, I was not born sashaying out my drag mother’s tuck, in a pair of eight-inch stilettos; they were only six.

Not counting the times when a then fledgling Sandra would prance around the house in her mother’s sling backs, I began wearing high heels habitually only recently. As shocking an admission as this may be, I wasn’t a natural. Unfortunately, grace at high altitudes doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

The key to being a pro with your pumps is two-fold— patience and practice. I started doing virtually everything in my stilettos, from washing the dishes to vacuuming the floor. The best part is feeling like you’re turning mundane chores into a glamour hour. It was the most effective way for me to start to feel at ease and shed my linebacker gait. And, before I knew it, I was working the runway in no time. Of course, being chased by the cops on Polk Street had the extra-added benefit of training me to be an expert stiletto sprinter.

Technically speaking, you should look to focus your weight onto the balls of your feet. The tiptoe technique is not only a tried-and-true method but is also assurance that you always look dainty and delicate when you walk. Keep in mind that we trannies owe our fierceness to the generations of real women who showed us what it meant to sashay first. Tranny kicks her heels up to you, girl!

Remember, Tranny knows best.

xoxo
Sandra

Have a question about Bay-area life that’s fit for a queen? Email Sandra at deartranny@culturcosm.com.

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