Dear Tranny: Love Boot Camp
Advice is a drag, unless you’re seeking guidance from Culturcosm’s campy counselor. Looking for insider know-how on making the best of the Bay? Dear Tranny has just what you need and she always gives it up. Penned by Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n't.
Vol. 11: Love Boot Camp
Dear Tranny,
I was in love with a boy for a year. He made me breakfast while I slept, wrote me love letters, and hung on my every word. We played together, laughed together; it was a dream. But at some point in time he became detached from me. He begun putting his friends and hobbies before me, and would never seem to want to hang out. We were boyfriends, and we were in love, so I didn’t think much of it because I knew he’d still be there for me at the end of the night. But soon, it became apparent to both of us that tides were turning, and our love came to a crashing halt. In the haste of human emotion, we ended the relationship via text warfare.
I spent the next two weeks attempting to talk to him about it and he was robotic, non responsive, and disinterested. I was absolutely devastated that this boy who bragged about having me at his side, who bought me flowers and adored me, could so easily and casually drop me from his life while I was standing there with a bleeding heart. Thoughts and insecurities enveloped me. Was he never really in love with me? Did I do something wrong? How could he not feel this hurt that I am feeling!? I still tried to get closure from him but he just wouldn’t let out his emotion; he would not tell me anything he was feeling.
Days turned into weeks and I wanted to move on with my life, but could not. I am in love. I feel like I cannot begin to love another because I still love him. My friends tell me, “oh just forget him” but I can’t! Is it wrong that I am human? I know he has moved on, which makes my struggle even that more desperate and difficult. I feel like I have been played— a fool, a sucker, for love. Dear Tranny, how do I stop loving someone who no longer loves me?
Little Red Riding Hood
Dear Little Red,
I feel your pain, boo. Even Miss Sandra has had her share of heartaches and tranny tribulations before becoming a trantastic trooper! That’s why I’m going to have to step into drag drill sergeant mode and let ya have it. It’s not because I’m unsympathetic, soldier; it’s because I know exactly where you’re coming from. Even though at times, I thought that might have been right out of a new Lifetime original movie.
The first thing you should realize is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about life: we are not responsible for what other people think. Let this be your new mantra. With that in mind, whether your ex-boyfriend has moved on or not should have no bearing on your relationship recovery. If you concentrate solely on that, you are allowing someone else to continue to have power over you. The focus should be on you and you alone. Moving on and getting over him will take some time, but it’s achievable.
I also noticed that you placed a lot of significance on being in love. While the feeling of being in love can be utterly amazing, it can also be like a bad high, impairing and clouding your judgment. The fact that two people are in love should not excuse either of you of bad behavior. You need to look in the mirror and reassure yourself that you’re worthy of being loved. And most importantly— Gurrrl, you need to love yo-self! Because, if you don’t, no one else will. Get my drift?
Know that sometimes a broken heart may require a professional’s aid. Therapy is a great outlet for many to work out loose ends and build the foundation for resiliency. An emotional wound is exactly like a physical wound. When the heart that you wear on your sleeve gets torn to pieces, it will take some time but it will mend. You’re no casualty of love. You’re a survivor!
Remember, Tranny knows best.
xoxo
Sandra
Have a question about Bay-area life that’s fit for a queen? Email Sandra at deartranny@culturcosm.com.
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Fancy That: King of Popping Hot Jackets
There’s nothing like your first crush. And if you’re anything like us, you crush hard and often. This is where we pay homage to all things worthy of lusting after.
Sara fancies adidas Orignals LD 80s windbreaker for men. Guess why. Perhaps because it channels 1983 and the video that helped launch MTV and the world of pop/rock/hip-hop/R&B music and culture as we know it; one of the best-selling singles of all time, and the song that defines my memory of Michael Jackson in his brilliant, innovative glory—Beat It.
Sure, you can snag a vintage replica of the red leather you remember, complete with metallic mesh panels, on eBay for $2,000. But adidas was an iconic brand back when the father of the moonwalk, the god of a new generation of Top 40 artists, was born. If there’s a jacket that has the magic to inspire moves like MJ, this has to be it. You know it’s bad.
The world has lost one of its greatest loves, but his music and his style will never be defeated. Rest in Peace Michael.
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LITTER SF and a Brief Personal History Dump
One of my fondest memories from childhood is when Officer Dave stopped by my 3rd-grade class to speak about a major community issue: litter. I don’t recall what Officer Dave told us that day at all. But I do remember how, at the end of class, OD offered me a trinket that would radically change my life — and my wardrobe — for the course of an entire summer. Pinned to my halter top, my shorts, my swimsuit, my tote bag, the basket on my bicycle, I brandished my litter patrol badge with all of the authority, status, and symbolism I could muster.
Ironically, by now my long-discarded badge is commingling with everyone else’s old PETs in the Land of Landfill. But the thrill of its charm remains in my heart — and to my delight this same feeling has been resurrected in the form of LITTER SF. Designed by the talented and lovely sisters Mackenzie and Rachael, LITTER delivers the same fluttery-girlie feeling my litter patrol badge gave me way back when. (Or perhaps it was Officer Dan’s shorty-shorts and 70s pornstache, but either way I know what I know, and right now I really dig upcycled fashion and LITTER.)
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing the sisters LITTER, and I was even more excited to find they are every bit as cool as their creations. Seriously, the header of their blog features the duo rock-kicking in front of a “Godless America” banner. What more do you need?)
Could you please describe your jewelry line for our readers?
We make one-of-a-kind pieces out of vintage chains and costume jewelry that we find at flea markets, estate sales, and thrift stores. Almost every piece is recycled and reworked into LITTER. We try to come up with new ways to wear jewelry in general, so everyday when we are in the studio, we are draping each other in chains and figuring out what works and whether or not we can achieve the look we want. I think what has gotten us this far in this short a period of time is that we are switching it up constantly. Jewelry is such a saturated market, so people are ready for something new and different.
What inspires your designs?
We are inspired in so many ways. When we discover an amazing piece of old jewelry that has really cool details, we have to make something out of it that same day — nothing else can get in our way, it has to be made that instant. People don’t make jewelry the way they used to in the 50s and 60s. Back then, costume jewelry was so intricate and experimental, so we try to continue that tradition with pieces that are fun and inspiring to work with, and then we put our own twist on these pieces.
Where do you find your materials?
Besides flea markets, thrift stores, and estate sales, we can sometimes convince our friends to donate their old jewelry to us as well. Usually, when we make a piece out of our friends’ jewelry, we name it after them.
If LITTER were a person, how would you describe her or him (or it)?
KEITH RICHARDS!!! Old, weathered, chains, bad-ass, vintage, classic, rock-n-roll, leathery, studs … you see where we are going with this.
Who are your current style icons/culture heroes/obsessions?
Karl Lagerfeld, Gareth Pugh, David Bowie, Wes Andersen films, Kate Moss, Copenhagen street style, and sometimes even each other!
What should no mortal’s wardrobe be without?
Between the two of us, we wouldn’t agree on the same things. We have totally different styles.
Rachael: The perfect pair of cowboy boots. If done right, they go with everything — jeans, dresses, especially miniskirts! Add some spiked shoe jewelry to them and they are totally your own look.
Mackenzie: The “boyfriend” blazer. Dress it up or down in winter or summer.
Your pieces are like wearable sculpture that serve as an extension of the person’s body, very organic, much like a tattoo or piercing. Please discuss.
We both love tattoos and piercings! We are glad you see the jewelry this way. Our jewelry takes a certain type of person to wear it, and normally it’s people who have an edge who really embrace us (probably people with tattoos and piercings). We hope we aren’t like a tattoo you’d regret or something lame like that, though [laughing].
Where can our readers buy your pieces?
Right now, you can get our jewelry at our website and at Moxsie, a boutique that specializes in indie fashion. We are working really hard on the new collection right now, and several stores have requested to carry our line. We will post an official list of stores on our website soon.
LITTER is an up-and-coming upcycled jewelry line based in San Francisco. Please call 415.932.6361 or write to request a studio visit.
— Kay
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Fancy That: 1st Edition “Infinite Jest”
There’s nothing like your first crush. And if you’re anything like us, you crush hard and often. This is where we pay homage to all things worthy of lusting after.
Kay fancies her original first-edition copy of Infinite Jest, the Most Important Novel of the late author David Foster Wallace. Obtained in 1997, read twice, perused often, imitated on more occasions than one would care to admit, and lost somewhere between Nebraska and California, the absence of which has left a gaping hole in more than this reader’s bookshelf (at 1,079 pages, it’s a barn of a book). It would have been the ideal companion for the approaching season’s Infinite Summer reading group, which will tackle the tome at a manageable pace of 75 pages per week from June 21 - September 22. Thousands of readers are joining this “Internet hurricane,” which just happens to fall in the actual Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, when the bulk of the story takes place. (Read the book.)
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Fancy That: August Boutique
There’s nothing like your first crush. And if you’re anything like us, you crush hard and often. This is where we pay homage to all things worthy of lusting after.
Kay fancies August boutique in Rockridge, not only for wanting to own everything in the store, but for wanting to own the entire store itself (as in being its sole proprietrix). While in most parts of the United States the month of August is a time for not touching anything — food other than salads, leather car seats, each other — this store is a veritable tactile wonderland, populated by fluid, modern designs in luxe fabrics from brands like Acne, Clu, Loomstate, Habitual, John Patric Organic, Koi Suwannagate, Martin Margiela, and Rogan. Various other treats are tucked throughout the store, such as geode belt buckles, deerskin handbags, felt rocks, and nature-inspired jewelry galore, all handsome prospects for any shopper mining the East Bay for haute finds.
Find August at 5410 College Ave., at Manila Ave., in Rockridge. 510.652.2711.
They’ve been having sales of late, so hurry in soon.
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Dear Tranny: Ever-Lashing Love
Advice is a drag, unless you’re seeking guidance from Culturcosm’s campy counselor. Looking for insider know-how on making the best of the Bay? Dear Tranny has just what you need and she always gives it up. Penned by Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n't.
Vol. 10: Ever-Lashing Love
Dear Tranny,
I love me some eyelashes like the next gal, but alas, my genes yielded me less-than-lush lashes. I am a total drag queen in a female’s body, but I have yet to master the fake lash. I’ve bought the cheap ones and even the super spendy ones (including some delicious feathery red ones!). It doesn’t seem to matter. They all fall off before I can even get my first flirty wink in! What am I doing wrong?
Lashing Out
Dear Lashing,
You may have been born with demure lashes, but you don’t have to settle for anything less than dramatic. I just wouldn’t even think of getting into face without mine. A bold lash is a must. As Tranny’s late, great lash icon Tammy Faye once mused, without eyelashes you just wouldn’t be you!
Many false eyelash manufacturers fail to mention the importance of adhesive in their directions. The light adhesive that false eyelashes are treated with is not strong enough to make a lasting stick. Whether you’re opting for realism or you’re ready to attempt the tantalizing tarantula, the key is lash glue.
Let Tranny be your guide to reclaiming your wink. Make sure to start with a very steady hand. Line each lash with a very thin coat of lash glue. Wait a minute or two for the lash glue to dry a bit, to prime it for adhesion. Starting at one corner of your eye, place the false lash as close as you can to your natural lash line, finishing it at the other corner. Having the false lashes rest on your natural lashes helps give it an extra boost.
For longer, thicker and darker lashes you won’t have to re-apply, try doctor-prescribed Latisse, the first FDA-approved solution used to grow eyelashes. A two-month supply will cost you about $120. If you want to bypass the trip to the doctor, you can try the non-prescription eyelash growth stimulator Lilash. A small tube will last you five months and cost around $140. A word of warning, my little lash lover: the solution will cause hair growth wherever it is applied. A sloppy application will increase lash length, yes, but also leave you with an unfortunate case of raccoon eye.
Here’s wishing you nothing but ever-lashing love from here on out.
Remember, Tranny knows best.
xoxo
Sandra
Have a question about Bay-area life that’s fit for a queen? Email Sandra at deartranny@culturcosm.com.
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Fancy That: Ribbon Staircase
There’s nothing like your first crush. And if you’re anything like us, you crush hard and often. This is where we pay homage to all things worthy of lusting after.
Michael fancies the ribbon staircase by HSH Architects. Innovations in the realm of home design usually involve a new take on the pull-out kitchen faucet or sustainably-harvested bamboo flooring. The Czechs, however, have taken to reimagining more structurally-complex elements of the home. Their breathtaking feat of engineering, constructed of undulating 10mm sheet metal, strikes a magnificent balance in being as delicate as it is dependable.
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Secession Taps the Streets
Secession Art & Design is keeping it local and fresh in The Mission. The gallery/boutique/workspace opened its the doors in August 2007 and is thriving as a hip haven for emerging and established local artists and designers, and the go-to spot for peeps with a passion for San Francisco’s indie arts community.
Owner and curator Eden Stein refreshes her gallery’s walls and racks every couple of months with a rotating collection of handpicked, locally made fine art, jewelry, clothing, accessories, and home décor items. Alongside the work of four in-house designers—New Skool, Colleen Mauer, Heather Robinson, and Stein’s own Twelve Designs—this makes for a rich selection of very cool, unique, and high-quality art—hangable and wearable.
Last Friday, June 5th, marked the opening for the current show, which explores a subculture of artists and designers who are documenting the Bay Area through a visual history, and bringing the streets of San Francisco into the home. The show features the work of artists FuryOne and Anna Simson as well as the wares of nine local designers.
FuryOne is an original San Francisco graffiti artist who has had art up on the streets of The City for the last 25 years. Now his gritty, yet soulful spray-paint stylings are obtainable on canvases of various shapes and sizes. Simson’s colorful monoprints are built layer-by-layer, creating eye-catching records of passing time and thought, and imparting impressions of our urban landscape.
There was a celebratory air to opening night as a steady stream of patrons arrived and groups of friends mingled while browsing the show. Wine was flowing, faces were smiling, and bodies were grooving to the beats provided by guest DJ ExtraLars. To make the Secession experience even more special, a portion of the proceeds will go to local non-profit Streetside Stories, a community-based literacy arts education organization.
Secession Art & Design is located at 3361 Mission Street (at 30th Street) in San Francisco. The current show is up through August 1. Go check it out Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, 12-7pm.
Secession Art & Design will also be represented at The Indie Mart Street Fair, Sunday, June 21, 12-6pm at Thee Park Side, located at 1600 17th Street (at Wisconsin) in San Francisco.
If you like what you find, vote for Secession Art & Design in The Guardian’s Best of the Bay. Voting starts today, online or in this week’s Guardian, and continues for the next three weeks.
–Sara
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Dear Tranny: Well-Heeled Society
Advice is a drag, unless you’re seeking guidance from Culturcosm’s campy counselor. Looking for insider know-how on making the best of the Bay? Dear Tranny has just what you need and she always gives it up. Penned by Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n't.
Vol. 9: Well-Heeled Society
Dear Tranny,
I’m so envious. I see fab trannies that can spin on a dime and run in high heels. I’m a biological woman and I can’t! Do you have any tips for me?
Hoping for Higher Heels
Dear Hoping,
Contrary to tranny urban legend, I was not born sashaying out my drag mother’s tuck, in a pair of eight-inch stilettos; they were only six.
Not counting the times when a then fledgling Sandra would prance around the house in her mother’s sling backs, I began wearing high heels habitually only recently. As shocking an admission as this may be, I wasn’t a natural. Unfortunately, grace at high altitudes doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
The key to being a pro with your pumps is two-fold— patience and practice. I started doing virtually everything in my stilettos, from washing the dishes to vacuuming the floor. The best part is feeling like you’re turning mundane chores into a glamour hour. It was the most effective way for me to start to feel at ease and shed my linebacker gait. And, before I knew it, I was working the runway in no time. Of course, being chased by the cops on Polk Street had the extra-added benefit of training me to be an expert stiletto sprinter.
Technically speaking, you should look to focus your weight onto the balls of your feet. The tiptoe technique is not only a tried-and-true method but is also assurance that you always look dainty and delicate when you walk. Keep in mind that we trannies owe our fierceness to the generations of real women who showed us what it meant to sashay first. Tranny kicks her heels up to you, girl!
Remember, Tranny knows best.
xoxo
Sandra
Have a question about Bay-area life that’s fit for a queen? Email Sandra at deartranny@culturcosm.com.
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Fancy That: Sexy Studs
There’s nothing like your first crush. And if you’re anything like us, you crush hard and often. This is where we pay homage to all things worthy of lusting after.
Sara fancies Kate Moss’ limited-edition studded waistcoat for TopShop. This bold rock chic-goes-tribal princess number, along with the rest of Kate’s new Summer ‘09 collection, is said to be inspired by her travels. It’s certainly inspiration to bust out that BeDazzler, because studs are making a permanent impression this season. If the supermodel’s take on the trend doesn’t convince you, check out the custom leather jacket sported by Karen O in the video for Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Zero.” She flashes her superstar studs all over San Francisco, from the dressing room of The Warfield to the alley outside The Shooting Gallery. It’s a knock out, too.
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About
Culturcosm is your online authority on the climate of trend throughout the Bay Area. Your roving reporters are taking to the streets and chasing down the real story. Be it stormy or serene, torrid or just plain tragic, we will break it down before you hit it up. Stay tuned. There's a new trend breaking every minute.
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General Inquiriesinfo@culturcosm.com
Michael, founder / editor-in-chiefmichael@culturcosm.com
Kay, founder / contributing editorkay@culturcosm.com
Sara, trendcaster / managing editorsara@culturcosm.com
Heather, social commentatorheather@culturcosm.com
Taylor, music trendcastertaylor@culturcosm.com
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